


The Chat Crax

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Glee RPF, Hot Chelle Rae
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-21
Updated: 2012-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 10:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, a boy named Chord dated a girl named Emma, and it was grand and lovely and then, rumor has it, she broke his heart. And, to us, breaking Chord Overstreet’s heart is like kicking a puppy. It’s bad, is what we’re saying. We’re sure (or at least J is; H still thinks J is naive), in general, Em’s a really nice girl with a promising acting career, but we weren’t too happy to discover incriminating instagram pictures on 31 March 2012, which pretty much confirmed they were together again, or at least shared a mutual appreciation for waffle fries, milkshakes, and processed chicken with pickles on top.  So then we spent the entire Sunday morning of 1 April chatting about it (as you do) on Google Talk, although pretty quickly it turned into something else entirely. (Note from H:  This fic is entirely in 'chat' format FYI)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chat Crax

Once upon a time, a boy named Chord dated a girl named Emma, and it was grand and lovely and then, rumor has it, she broke his heart. And, to us, breaking Chord Overstreet’s heart is like kicking a puppy. It’s bad, is what we’re saying. We’re sure (or at least J is; H still thinks J is naive), in general, Em’s a really nice girl with a promising acting career, but we weren’t too happy to discover incriminating instagram pictures on 31 March 2012, which pretty much confirmed they were together again, or at least shared a mutual appreciation for waffle fries, milkshakes, and processed chicken with pickles on top:

(tweeted by @RobertsEmma at 11:55pm)

So then we spent the entire Sunday morning of 1 April chatting about it (as you do) on Google Talk, although pretty quickly it turned into something else entirely.

H: He prolly got an earful from nash  
Or nash called and said I SINCERELY HOPE THATS A BOOTY CALL  
J: I wish it was: HEY LOOK WHO I RANDOMLY RAN INTO AT THE CHICK FIL-A. MY CRAZY EX.  
H: YES  
J: But that would be mean. And me and Chord are WAY TOO NICE, YO.  
H: RIGHT  
J: Nashie was all, bro, do not GO THERE AGAIN. You already hit that.  
H: and it was CREY CREY if memory serves dude  
J: Exactly.  
H: and she was mean, which you ain't Chordy.

Chird: but, she explained that over waffle fries. She was just confused.  
Chord, rather.

Nash: Confused is for mental patients. Get rid of her.

Chord: she bought me a banana pudding shake. I think it's love.

Nash: B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
Gwen Stefani ain't wrong.  
That girl is crey crey

Chord: you barely even know her. You never gave her a chance before. Amber says--

Nash: HAHAHAH. What does Amber say?  
Nash: I'd be verrrrrrrrrry interested in what Ms. Pretty Reilly has to say about Ems

Chord: it was about YOU. I don't think Amber's ever said anything to me about Emma...

Nash: Dude. You know I love ya cuz ur mah bro, but Ems is bad news.

Chord: I'll take that into consideration. Speaking of relationships (NOT that Emma and I are in one), I hear congrats are in order for you and Ryan. sniggers I hope you'll be very happy together.

Nash: ?????  
Speaka de english bro  
and we're not done talking about Ems or Amber  
How IS ms. pretty anyway?

Chord: dude, you retweeted it. Figured that meant you'd made it official. Amber's great. She dogsat for Harry yesterday and posted the cutest pics of the dogs playing.

Nash: Mmmmhhhmmmm  
looking thru time line cuz jack and ginger does nto good decisions make  
Nash: OH that. Yeah. We're sending otu invites to our civil union next week.  
You're the flower girl.

Chord: awesome. Pink dress?

Nash: Pink dress.  
But you get to wear flats.  
Summer has to wear six inch spikes  
And a dog collar.

Chord: Yay. HAHAHA, what she do this time? Must be worse than me grabbing fast food with Emma.

Nash: YOu're both on notice. Eggs benedict both of you.

Chord: are you and Saw dating too? Or just a really big fan of his work?

Nash: PUCK is my fave!  
I'm like the puck of HCR

Chord: Of course he is. and you wish.

Nash: You are a girl.  
You going over with Harry to pick up his dog at Ambers?

Chord: good one. So clever.  
Chord: no?  
It's a small dog, he'll manage.

Nash: Mmmmmm.  
Nash: Lame.  
You're never going to get her if you aren't like making an effort, dude.

Chord: to pick up dogs? No wonder Katy Perry doesn't take your calls.

Nash: No dumbass. Go over there. Offer to help with any heavy lifting she might need.  
Nash: TALK TO HER OUTSIDE OF WORK  
Nash: And KP loves me. She just don't know it yet.

Chord: we do talk outside of work. And KP doesn't even know you exist.

Nash: Maybe you SHOULD. And she does TOO.

Chord: Maybe I should what? She does not. if she even knows who HCR are, she'd be way into your bf Ryan. Or Ian. Ian's her type.

Nash: TALK TO HER OUTSIDE OF WORK and not just on the redcarpet, dumbass.  
And stop with the Ian luve. She just divorced a guy who is Ian's body double. Doubt she wants to go down that road again.

Chord: Amber? We DO talk outside of work. She told me you tweeted about bridesmaids, so we texted while we both watched it. She didn't think it was all that funny, but she has to have ONE fault, right?  
Chord: I can't help it everyone else in your band is hotter than you.

Nash: Was Emma there while you were sexting with Mama Amber.  
And I'm way more handsome than the roadies.

Chord: why would Emma have been there? And god, you're disgusting, people, regular people, don't sext about a movie that's basically about poop.  
Chord: you wish.

Nash: Just making sure the girl dinna talk you into one more time for old times sake.  
Nash: And reg peeps do sext...just not about poop.  
:SNORT:

Chord: you're gross. And I didn't say sexting was disgusting, just about poop.

Nash: HAHAH poop.

Chord: twelve. You're twelve.

Nash: Ps - I was fucking around on tumblr on the flight today and WOW there's a lot of people that like you and Amber together.

Chord: oh good, because I usually date according to what the fans want. /deadpan. While you were on there, did you hit up that chick who was drunk tweeting you last night about making mixed babies?

Nash: No but I'd make AWESOME mixed babies.  
Nash: My babies would be GORGEOUS

Chord: maybe. If they got NONE OF YOUR GENES.

Nash: You love my hair.

Chord: it's true. The only thing I've ever been jealous of, your white man's fro.

Nash: You love mah fro. It brings all the milkshakes to the yard.  
trolls thru tumblah  
Nash: PS - Amber says you can come over with Harry. I left my koozie over there. She said you can pick it up.

Chord: I hate you. Stop texting her. Oh, god, just don't sext her, okay?

Nash: I'm chatting with her. I've got her IM.  
Nash: And she thinks I'm funny.

Chord: don't you have some place to be? Dude, no one thinks you're funny.

Nash: I'm in a fucking plane on my way back from Europe. Don't gotta do anything but drink jack & ginger and IM Amber.  
Nash: She said she'd be happy to keep me company. If you know what I mean.

Chord: no one ever knows what you mean. And shouldn't you sleep or something? Go cuddle with Ryan and stay away from Abner.  
I mean, Amber.  
You can have Abner.

Nash: Ryan's tweeting at the girls in Taylor's band. He's ignoring me. I feel so used.  
Nash: Amber likes my hair.

Chord: Whatever, you like being used. And she doesn't! She likes... other kinds of hair.

Nash: Ms. Pretty: I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!! Ignore Chordy, he's just jealous.  
Nash: PROOF. Eat that suckah.

Chord: she obviously just feels bad for you and your debilitating crush on KP.

Nash: Try again, dick. She digs mah fro.

Chord: keep telling yourself that.

Nash: Don't have to. She's telling me that.  
Nash: She also wanted to know why you didn't bring her a milkshake.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty: WHERE'S THE LOVE CHORD?

Chord: I... she doesn't even like milkshakes. She prefers smoothies.

Nash: You. Are. So. Whipped.  
Nash: Would you please just tell her that you wanna make cocoa colored babies with her and put the rest of us out of our misery?  
Nash: She just told me how sweet you are.  
Nash: I think I fucking hurfed a little in my mouth.

Chord: no idea what you're taking about bro. Wait, what.

Nash: Ms. Pretty: He's so sweet.  
Nash: gags

Chord: dude, you changed her IM name to ms pretty? and why would she tell YOU she thinks i'm sweet?

Nash: It's fitting.  
Nash: She IS pretty.

Chord: yeah, I know. Thank you, captain obvious. Amber Riley being pretty is not exactly news.

Nash: I just asked her what my little bro was like on set in big old HollyWOOD  
Nash: Ms. Pretty: He's one of my fave peeps, actually.

Chord: please tell me you didn't emphasize wood to her.

Nash: I did.

Chord: take a nap, assfuck.

Nash: Naw, having fun playing matchmaker.  
Nash: Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.  
Nash: She said she'd come to the wedding. She couldn't wait to see your legs in a pink dress.

Chord: I'd tell you to stop, but that would only encourage you.  
Chord: awesome.

Nash: It is, isn't it?

Chord: the awesomest.

Nash: She said Colfer could get us a discount at the local adult store.  
Nash: Evidently they went and laughed their asses off.  
Nash: Something about the unicorn of love.

Chord: Wow.

Nash: Wouldn't know anything about that would you?

Chord: Colfer talks too much.

Nash: Ms. Pretty Pretty Amber P. Reilly: I'll get you monogrammed condoms.

Chord: Um.

Nash: HAHAHAH. Colfer said the slime was cold tonite. It looked epic. I'd love to get slimmed.

Chord: that can be arranged.

Nash: The Gay Unicorn: Tell Chord I said HI.

Chord: Slimmed? Your skinny ass could use some protein as it is.

Nash: that's what she said.

Chord: KP told your skinny ass you could use some protein? Buuuuurn.

Nash: Dick.  
Nash: Ian's snoring. fuck.  
Nash: Ryan just put a clothespin on his nose.  
Nash: Where the fuck did he get one of those?  
Nash: Ms. Pretty Pretty Amber P Reilly: Are he and Emma back together?  
Nash: Girls worried about you boy.

Chord: should have taken my headphones when I offered. And Ryan's a fucking boy scout.

Nash: He is. It's why I wanna pledge my life to him.

Chord: her last name is spelled Riley.

Nash: I think you mean OVERSTREET.

Chord: and she should know better than to think you have insight into my dating life.

Nash: She might be grasping at hay.

Chord: Um.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He's better than he knows or gives himself credit for. And if you tell him I said that, Nash Overstreet, I will find you and gut you. I have sisters. We could make it happen.  
Nash: Future Hubby RKF: Quit laughing, fucker. You'll ruin it.

Chord: that's why Ryan is my favorite.

Nash: Future Hubby RKF: You talking at Chordy? Tell him he owes me a jam session soon. Adn I'm proud ot be his new BiL.

Chord: tell him I'll hit him up when y'all get back stateside. And clearly Ryan is too good for you.

Nash: Clearly.  
Nash: WTF. We adore Darren Criss is trending.  
Nash: Criss is such a wicked little fucker.

Chord: also too good for you. You're just jealous "we love Nashie's hair" isn't trending.

Nash: It should be.  
Nash: And DCriss loves me.  
Nash: He said so.

Chord: might be a reason it's not.

Nash: You only wish you had my gorgeous purdy locks

Chord: Dcriss loves everyone. It's why they adore him.

Nash: Fuck. Follese if you don't turn off Adele I'mma kick your ass.  
Nash: DCriss is amazing.  
Nash: Shut up. Trying to make Ryno jealous.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Chord and I can sing at your wedding.

Chord: obviously. but Ryan thinks dcriss is amazing, too.

Nash: I'm ignoring him now. I'm first or nothing.

Chord: awesome. And let me know how that works out for you.

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Islands in teh Stream? That'd be hilarious. I'm in if Chord is.

Chord: she'd make a great Dolly.

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Endless Love? Sure you don't wanna stick with something more country? LOLOL

Chord: I don't recall Kenny Rogers wearing a pink dress though.

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Ask him if that has something to do with my cup size or my voice?  
Nash: We can hook you up with a bolo tie.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Ignore that. Too much vino tonite. The dogs are driving me a little nuts. Babysitting all by mahself.  
Nash: TOO bad she's by herself. And no one lives near her to help out.

Chord: already got one. And tell her neither. Her voice is better than Dolly's and i'm not touching (no pun intended) the boobs comment.

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Thanks for the offer. Sorry you're flying out of the country right now.  
Nash: Relayed.  
Nash: CHORDY CHORDY CHORDY I LOVE YOU CHORDY  
Nash: fuckin follese. Git off my IM.

Chord: what offer did you make exactly, brother?

Nash: Mmmmmm.

Chord: and give RK my love.

Nash: Relayed.  
Nash: Anything for Jamie or Ian while I'm at it?  
Chord: what offer? I can ask RK if need be.

Nash: I'll stick a fucking post-it on Ian's head.  
Nash: Just offered to help.  
Nash:  
Nash: Told her I could switch the trajectory of this plane with a snap and be on her doorstep by the wee hours.

Chord: Tell James he needs a haircut. and tell Ian KP called.

Nash: Fuck off.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Nash, you are RECKLESS. Quit giving Chordy a hard time.  
Nash: /that's what she said.

Chord: yeah, actually, KP had a... problem. And I offered to help HER out.

Nash: Oh no you din't.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I'd love tickets! It'd be fun seeing you guys. Give Ryan a huge smooch for me. He's so cute.  
Nash: Great. Fucking Ryan is blushing.  
Nash: I love his voice on Keep You With Me.

Chord: told you she liked Ryan better. Everyone does.

Nash: Me too.

Chord: who doesn't.

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Love the 'in my bed' line. Makes me melt every single time.

Chord: …

Nash: HAHAHAH.  
Nash: Bet your pretty face is beet red right now.

Chord: little bit.

Nash: HAHAH  
Nash: Such a virgin.  
Nash: Future Hubby RF: I think she likes me. Are you jealous?  
Nash: What a fucker.  
Nash: Told the stewardess that he's cut off. Also that he wanted to be part of the mile high club.

Chord: again, too good for your skinny ass.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Nope. Never done that on an airplane.

Chord: …

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Pretty sure Cory and Lea have tho. HAHAHAHAH

Chord: oh, god, do NOT remind me.

Nash: HAHHAHAHHA  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Tilt-a-whirl. It was the best ever, obv.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Get it right, Nashie. Sam's the best thing to happen to Mercedes ever.

Chord: APR knows where it's at.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: It's Chord? HAHAHAH I couldn't talk. Graceful yes.

Chord: that was really cute.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Plus Kev had just said some pretty funny shizz about that scene before they interviewed me.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Is that what that scar on his knee is for? I always wondered. Never wanted to ask tho.  
Nash: I LOVE YOU CHORDY LOVE YOU CHORDY LOVE YOU.  
Nash: Fucking follese. Jamie and Ryan are harmonziing about how they love you.  
Nash: And Summer's tits  
Nash: Might have to kill them.

Chord: maybe y'all should stop talking. Let Ryan drink chat at her. It's safer.

Nash: HAHAH She's hilarious.

Chord: she is.

Nash: Mmmmmm. Didn't know that. Interesting.

Chord: stop whatever you're doing.

Nash: I ain't doing nothing. She's volunteering info.  
Nash: Just filing it away for later use.

Chord: ...like what?

Nash: Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.  
Nash: pats

Chord: she doesn't know how evil you are. I don't care what you say about me, but don't drag her into it.

Nash: Chill, dude.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: It was the toughest day ever, singing that song.

Chord:

Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: Chord helped me out a lot. He kept everyone away after I got done in the booth. He said he knew how tough it was for me and to go get some rest and walked me to my trailer and made sure I was okay.  
Nash: there you big vagina.  
Nash: She was just complimenting you.

Chord: you should have seen her face, dude. It's like she was broken. Her talent blows me away. And shut your face about blowing me.

Nash: I wouldn't fuck with that song or her singing it. She knocked it outta the fucking park.

Chord: she did.

Nash: She said they're doing more? Might be Mercedes singing to Sam again? Know anything about that?

Chord: yeah, I might work there, too. Asshat.  
Sometimes they even tell me stuff.

Nash: Hmmmmm. Interesting.  
Nash: Fine. She's telling me stuff.

Chord: do you feel special?

Nash: Always.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He and HEMO are pretty close, I think. They're always hugging and stuff. She's a sweetheart. He could do so worse.  
Nash: You both are fucking delusional.  
Nash: Ryan agrees.  
Nash: So does the pilot. He thinks you guys would have pretty cocoa babies.

Chord: What, I love HeMo. She's a riot.

Nash: She thinks you LIKE Hemo.

Chord: the pilot?!

Nash: Duh.

Chord: like LIKE her?

Nash: We were taking opinions on how cute y'all's babies would be.  
Nash: Yes, fucker. LIKE LIKE HER.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Oh they're both so blonde and pretty together. Plus, Heather is so sweet.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: They'd make a good looking couple.

Chord: mine and HeMo's babies? This conversation is making me feel uncomfortable, and not in a good way. I don't like HeMo that way. I mean she's hot and awesome, but yeah. shrugs  
Chord: no.

Nash: No. You and A's babies.

Chord: but Amber wants me to date Heather? My brain hurts.

Nash: Keep up. Must be all that chicken going to your brain.

Chord: dude I forgot my wallet. Ask I had was the shake. Emma was eating with her roommate.

Nash: mmmmhhhmmm.

Chord: you're telling Abner this aren't you?  
Chord: fuck me autocorrect. Amber.

Nash: No, I mean that doesn't even SOUND like me.

Chord: great, because it DOES actually.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He knows I'd cook for him. I've offered more than once. I love cooking. My sisters and I had to learn how really young and aside from frosting fights, it's a lot of fun.  
Nash: Did you turn down a home cooked meal from her?

Chord: frosting fights, bro.

Nash: Have you learned nothing from my example?

Chord: she never offered to cook for me.

Nash: Better than us flinging fucking peanut butter around the kitchen. Mom about fucking killed us that one time.  
Nash: Ms. Pretty APR: I did too! When eh first showed up I asked him and he politely declined. So, I quit asking. I figured he didn't like greens and grits. HAHAH

Chord: sorry, I just lost five years of my life picturing Amber with frosting all over her.

Nash: There's a vid.  
Nash: Her sister's in it too.  
Nash: Those R girls are....luscious.  
Nash: TWO POINTS FOR USING LUSCIOUS CORRECTLY OVERSTREET.  
Nash: Get off of here, Ryan.

Chord: i'm pretty sure I do NOT need to watch that. And besides my imagination is pretty vivid.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I made cupcakes with vanilla bean frosting. I'll bring some in for him tomorrow.

Chord: and I don't remember her asking. Probably I misunderstood.  
Chord: fuck me running.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Well then I'll make sure he understands next time.  
Nash: Whipped.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I'll make sure to have some for you too the next time you're out. Tell him to bring you by! And Ryan too!

Chord: i've lost all the blood flow to my brain.  
Chord: oh, good, a party.

Nash: Future Hubby RKF: YES! She loves me! Tell Chordy to suck it!  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: HAHAHAHAH Baby Chordy is still my fave. Sorry Ryan.

Chord: Ryan is the better man. She could do worse.  
Chord: no way.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Does he like vanilla bean? I don't know if he's allergic. I mean I know he's allergic to shellfish but other than that I'm not sure. I can make something else if he wants.  
Nash: Yes way, twat. Keep up with the conversation.

Chord: if you say April fools, bro, i'm putting peanut butter in your hair again.

Nash: It's good for the follicles.

Chord: how does she remember i'm allergic to shellfish?

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Crap. The dogs just got into my laundry basket. Underwear everywhere.

Chord: …

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Wot? I don't know. I just know. I think he said it when we all went out for dinner one time. Yeah, we were in Dublin for the show. He and Harry were talking about shellfish and Chord said he was allergic and then puffed his cheeks out and said it made him really sick.

Chord: wow.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: We tried Guinness that night. UGH. So GROSS. Kev loved it and so did Naya. But Chord and I were like NO ME GUSTA.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: That was the night he told us that he wasn't coming back to the show. We were all pretty sad.

Chord: I can't believe she is telling you all this shit.

Nash: I'm letting her talk dude.

Chord: maybe one day you will use your powers for good, and not evil.

Nash: It's the middle of the night. Sometimes it's easier to talk then. OR to say stuff you don't normally talk about in the light of day. Or write songs. Fucking follese is writing our wedding vows.  
Nash: I'm always good....'cept when I'm not.

Chord: I love Ryan.

Nash: Doesn't everyone?

Chord: true story. He's everyone's favorite.

Nash: Dick.

Chord: I wish HE was my brother.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I mean you could've heard a pin drop, right? But he's back now and that's all that matters.  
Nash: That can be arranged.  
Nash: He's going to be your BiL, isn't that good enough?

Chord: I thought that's what y'all were doing? Arranging. Since KP likes me better.  
Chord: I mean, knows who I am.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Oh yeah, fandom thinks that. I mean I troll enough to know what's being said. But do I think they did? Um, yeah, I do. As Shakira says: The Hips don't Lie. HAHAHAHA

Chord: Amber never said that before. And I remember everyone else talking and yelling, and Jenna cried.

Nash: She's moved onto something else. I asked her if Sam and Mercedes did the deed.  
Nash: Jenna cried?  
Nash: You made Jenna cry?  
Nash: Way to go, dick. That's like making strawberry shortcake cry. She's sweet.

Chord: I didn't! Just that the gang was breaking up, and everyone was maybe going to leave after this season anyway. you know how jazzed I was to get to go back.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Oh yeah, Jenna cried a lot. I waited till we got back to the room. It was tough for him to say it in front of everyone. You could tell. But yeah I waited till we got back to the room. It sucked big time. And not just for Mercedes, you know? He's ours. I don't know how to explain it.

Chord: and I don't get why fans think Sam and Mercedes weren't doing it during their fling or whatever. Mercedes is HOT.

Nash: Well dont' make Jenna cry again. She's...lovely.

Chord: she is. I never knew Amber cried. I was sad, too. Working with them doesn't ever feel like working.  
Chord: and no, i'm not giving you Jenna's number.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Oh yeah, I remember that day. Cory spotted him in the studio and texted everyone. We tackled him. Adam was wicked pissed we ruined his session.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I was worried I broke one of his ribs, hugging him so hard.  
Nash: I don't want Jenna's number. I don't.

Chord: it was so awesome. And best hug ever.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Best. Hug. EVER.  
Nash: You two are fucking scary

Chord: still holding out for kp to realize you're alive? Or is Ryan reading this?  
Chord: it was a great hug.

Nash: No. They're crashing out. I had a Monster so I'm awake. Jenna's awesome.

Chord: she is.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Jenna and I Freaked OUT. WE jumped up and down screaming. Eric told us to Chill OUt and then excused us to go tackle him. HAHAHAHHAH Even Dianna wigged out. It was pretty cute.

Chord: too awesome for you, like much of the world's population.

Nash: Yeah, she is. I'll agree. She's too good for this broken ass urban cowpoke.

Chord: saw just stood back and laughed at everyone. Since he and I hung out all the time for fucking OP.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Wot? Yeah, I think I kissed his cheek. Had to wipe the gloss off of it.  
Nash: Saw it awesome.  
Nash: IS

Chord: lay off the monster. Thank god you don't drink Rockstar, or I'd have to get y'all a douchebag jar.

Nash: Imma JAR MAHSELF ON THAT ONE.  
Nash: Fucking schmidt is my hero.

Chord: you're not the puck. You're the Schmidt of hcr. Congrats.

Nash: SUHWEET.

Chord: she did kiss my cheek. I told her I didn't see how she missed lips as big as mine. She laughed.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Red? IDEK what color it was?  
Nash: Smooth.  
Nash: Must've had someone right teach you the moves.

Chord: it was pink.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Pink? Really? Oh yeah, it was that Aveda brand. It tastes like Mint. I remember now.

Chord: I didn't get to taste it.  
Alas.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Tell him to bring Harley by sometime. Chewie loves seeing Harley.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: No. I show Chewing pictures of Harley so they'll know each other if they ever meet.

Chord: that's cute.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: They're on his twitter feed. You've seen Harley. Whatchoo talking about, Nashie? HAHAHAH You've seen your brother's dog.  
Nash: I hope that wasn't a euphemism.

Chord: you're so disgusting.

Nash: It's a gift.

Chord: curse.

Nash: Gift.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I should get to sleep. Thanks for the chat, Nashie. Tell that brother of yours I said Sweet Dreams and hugs

Chord: it's a gift/curse hybrid. Like blast ended skrewts. Although I guess they're all curse. But still, hybrid. Or a prius.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: WOT? HAHAHAHAH That's for me to know.  
Nash: Whoops weren't supposed to see that one.  
Nash: Disregard.

Chord: best hugs ever.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Chord wins every time. Sorry, Nashie. !

Chord: WHAT DID YOU DO, NASHVEGAS?  
Chord: oh.

Nash: See?  
Nash: Youre so delusional.  
Nash: Or diluted.

Chord: or desirable?

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: One word to describe Chord? IDEK. Um....lessseee.....I can't say one word. Sweet? Kind? Funny? Adorbs? Forearms? HAHAHAH Jenna and I have a thing for his arms.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Jenna says she likes your arms too, Nashie.  
Nash: Best chat convo ever.

Chord: agreed.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: She said she'd love to be in an HCR vid.  
Nash: YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Chord: the coolest people are in hcr vids.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Oh yeah, those boots were funny. I could only take him seriously if I looked at him from the thighs up.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I meant WAIST. Shut your dirty mind, Nashie.

Chord: i'm okay with her looking at my thighs.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: The red dress? Oh yeah, they had to take it in cuz I've lost weight. I loved my hair that day tho.

Chord: she was amazing. She looked amazing.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He said that? blush Tell him thank you. He did amazing that day. Such a tough scene and considering he and Ems just broke up....we were all worried about him and how he'd hold up. He's our baby, ya know? We take care of him. Even if he doesn't know it.

Chord: I thought she was going to bed. Don't keep her up all night, Nash. She'll be tired from chasing those dogs around, but too nice to tell you to shut up.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Okay, really going now. You have sweet dreams. Tell Chordy I'll see him tomorrow. !!!!!

Chord: I can't believe they were all worried about me after Emma.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I'm not telling you what I'm wearing to bed.

Chord: Oh, sure, now she goes.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: It's red. That's all you need to know. Get soem sleep. Nite.

Chord: ...  
Chord: it?

Nash: Oh didn't I post the whole of that message? No? Oh well.

Chord: dick. You don't deserve Katy. And definitely not Ryan.

Nash: Fine.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: It's just a ratty old sleep shirt. Nothing fancy or sexy about that. HAHAHAH  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: OMG WANKY.

Chord: sounds good to me.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I stole his Chord Overstreet guitar pick. Don't tell him. He left it onstage after Human Nature. It's in my jewelry box.

Chord: that's cute.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: Diana took the engagement ring and Jenna took his 'hell no' sign that he made during original songs.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I took his Chord Overstreet sign that he had on his dressing room door before he left.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: SOOOOO TIRED. Took the laptop into the bedroom. Snuggled up with Chewie and the boys.

Chord: I wondered what happened to that when I came back. They had to make me a new one.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: It's on the mirror in my trailer. Along with that picture of us at my b-day party. He was helping me blow out the candles.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He was singing Happy B-day in my ear. HAHAHAHAH goosebumps  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: HAHAHA No. Not like Herbert. Just like.....Chord.

Chord: she laughed, so I thought it was just funny. goosebumps, huh?

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: You ever had someone sing in your ear? No? Try it some time and see what happens. Goosebumps.

Chord: is she volunteering?  
Chord: to sing to me, I mean.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I DID! We were pretty wasted tho. We were in Vegas for something or other. No wait! It was at the SAGs. What the hell song was that? That was the week of Emmagate. We danced. I sang to him. It was nice to see him smile.  
Nash: Ms Pretty APR: He has such a great smile. :SIGH: I'm getting punchy. Don't use any of this against me later on. HAHAHAHAH

Chord: I do remember that.

Nash: Ms Pretty APR: I remember doing the interview together about Moneyball and Nancy Grace. Chord makes so much fun of me for watching Nancy. But I can't remember what song it was. Or who asked who to dance. Champagne. Shouldn't do that on a nervous and empty stomach.  
Nash: Ryan's awake and reading over my shoulder now. He says this is better than Lifetime for Ovaries.

Chord: champagne.

Nash: Yeah, evidently there was champagne at an awards show. WHO KNEW?

Chord: Ryan would know. He loves those made for tv movies.

Nash: He says Heather Locklear/Nora Roberts ones are the best

Chord: of course he does.

Nash: Your girl is bailing. TExt her good night.

Chord: on it.

Nash: Also, because I know you remember, text her the name of the song y'all danced to.  
Nash: Humor me.

Chord: on the texting.  
Chord: k

Nash: The slow one. Because I know you and I KNOW you asked her to dance more than once or we do not come from the same loins.

Chord: I said i'm on it. Ass.

Nash: ryno wants to know what song it was.  
Nash: and to tell us what she texts back.

Chord: wouldn't y'all like to know.

Nash: Um yes.  
Nash: Oh hell. Ryan's doing the puppy dog eyes. Don't make him do the puppy eyes chordy

Chord: this is a topic for grown ups.  
Chord: fine, but only for Ryno.

Nash: YES  
Nash: What was the tune?

Chord: it was Jason Mraz.

Nash: It wasn't I Won't Give Up was it?

Chord: SMS FROM AMBERRR: omg, chord, how did you even remember that? all I remember was you holding me up.  
Chord: it was.

Nash: Ryan: GUH. JUST GUH MAN.  
Nash: :chinhands:  
Nash: Offer to go over and help tuck her in. Read a bedtime story. Sing her to sleep.  
Nash: Ryan said that cuz he has a vagina.

Chord: no more bedtime stories for rashfollesestreet or whatever y'all are.

Nash: I think you should investigate that red nightshirt. Or what's underneath it.

Chord: you would know.  
Chord: ABOUT RYAN.

Nash: I could so say something about I am what I eat but that would be tacky.

Chord: STOP IT.

Nash: HAHAHAHAH Virgin.  
Nash: Ryan wants to know what your'e saying to her.  
Nash: And Jamie's reading over my shoulder now too.

Chord: Ryan, will you please explain to your betrothed that a person is not a virgin all over again just because he hasn't had sex in a couple months?  
Chord: oh great. Just great.  
Chord: SMS FROM AMBERRR: that sounds good, lol  
Chord: oh, I forgot to say what I texted to her first? whoops, my bad.

Nash: VIRGIN.  
Nash: You could offer the service of your forearms in case anything goes bump in the nite.

Chord: wouldn't you like to know. And the pilot, and the roadies, and the groupies. NO.

Nash: FINE. But she said earlier that she thought she heard something funny outside. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to our Ms. Pretty.

Chord: bbiab.  
Chord: maybe 2morrow

Nash: Ryan F: PROTECT OUR GIRL!!!  
Nash: He's so gullible.

Ryan: IKR?

Jamie: are y'all seriously chatting from SEATS RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER?

Nash: Are. You. NEW?  
Nash: You think he bought it? And went over there?

Jamie: Kind of new. I mean, I was the last one to join the band.

Ian: Where did this FUCKING CLOTHESPIN come from?

Ryan: Oh, he probably just left the chat to get you off his back, but he's thinking about it. And he's probably still talking to her.

Nash: Good cuz she did mention it and now I'm fucking worried.  
Nash: I fucking hate worrying. It gives me wrinkles.

Ryan: I'll text him. He won't believe anything you say even if it wasn't april 1st.

Nash: I know, I know. Thanks Ryno. You're the best fake hubby ever.

Ian: Are CLOTHESPINS part of April Fools day now?

Jamie: use it to pull your stringy ass hair outta yo face.

Ian: you're one to talk, Biebs.

Jamie: Chicks dig it. Unlike unclean hos who hit on you. My girls are clean.

Nash: Lemme know what he says, Ryno  
Nash: And they think WE'RE married, Ryno.

Ryan: IKR?  
Ryan: Get a room.  
Ryan: SMS FROM THE BEST OVERSTREET (Man, don't. Give it, Chord changed it): She's okay. My brother isn't tho. Assfuck. But tell him I'm staying over at her place tonight. He ain't getting a fuckn Christmas or birthday present 4 the rest of his miserable life, tho.

Nash: Seriously, as long as she's okay, he can be pissed at me for ten years.  
Nash: Or five.  
Nash: Hey, is he sleeping on the couch?  
Nash: Wonder what she's wearing.

Ryan: you planning on only being around for 5 more years? as your life partner, will I get your car?

Nash: You can have whatever you want, baby. Papa Nashie has it all for you.

Ryan: Gross. But okay.

Nash: RUDE.

Ryan: You're just jealous cos I'm everyone's faaaavorite.

Nash: Maybe I'll marry Jamie since you seem to prefer Chord (aka THE BEST OVERSTREET, srsly?)  
Nash: Where's the love, RK? WHERE?

Ryan: Dude, I told you, Chord changed his name on there.

Nash: Whatever. Gimme your damn phone.

Ian: Does my hair look better up or down?

Ryan: NO. Here, James, catch!

Jamie: Shaved.

Nash: Fine. I'm sleeping. You guys are dicks. So is my brother. At least I still have Summer and the other two girls.

Jamie: what are their names again?

Ian: Harmony and... lyric? Follicle? Petal?

Ryan: Memphis? Spring?

Nash: I can't remember. I call her hey you.

Ryan: That is way harsh, Tai.

Nash: SLEEPING. TRYING TO SLEEP.  
Nash: Anything more from Chord?

Ian: you better hide your nose. I gotta a CLOTHESPIN with your name all over it, man.

Nash: Whateves, Igor.

Jamie: he just texted Ryan back.

Nash: What's it say, James?

Jamie: SMS FROM NASH OVERSTREETS LIL BRO: tell Nash she wasn't lying. it's red.

Nash: Fucking GUH.  
Nash: Git after it little bro.

Jamie: You are kind of gross.

Nash: Not like that! Just like....he needs to make a move sometime this year. Glaciers move faster than Chord, and Amber LIKES HIM A LOT.

Ryan: that right there. That's why i'm marrying your skinny ass.

Nash: blush You say all the right things, ryno.

Ryan: it's just to get you in the sack. I'm not a glacier. If you get my meaning. Wait. That didn't come out right.

Nash: a;lkdjf;lajksfdal;sdjf;lajksdf

Ian: y'all are such girly women.

Nash: I ain't putting out till I get a ring on it. Marry me. I'll be the one in front of the preacher wearing white.  
Nash: Shut up, Igor.

Ryan: any time, any place. Just keep saying all the sweet things.

Jamie: …

Ian: I think I vomited in my mouth a little.

Jamie: …

Nash: Um.

Ryan: that's why we gave you the clothespin, Ee.

Nash: any more from C, James? All clear on the western front?

Jamie: SMS FROM CHORDY: tell Nash I said thank you. But wait until he's sad or something. He doesn't deserve it right now.  
Jamie: Whoops. I think I should have read that to myself first.

Nash: Tell him he can be po'd at me - just glad she's okay. She's our girl, ya know?

Jamie: k, sent.  
Jamie: SMS FROM CHORDY: I know.  
Jamie: SMS FROM CHORDY: Now, git. I can't be texting y'all when I'm over here. How fuckn smooth would that be? Not even.

Nash: Fine. He owes us stories tomorrow.  
Nash: and I need zzz's bitches.

Ryan: let the kid be. Here, you can lean your pillow on me while I lean against the window.

Nash: I can't believe we're across the pond again .... fucking sick.  
Nash: ILU Ryno

Ryan: ILU2, Nashie.

Ian: ....

Jamie: ...


End file.
